Haiku is a traditional form of Japanese verse, usually following a three-line, 5-7-5 syllable pattern and including some kind of "seasonal" word and a stopping point--such as dashes or a simple line break--that is followed by some sort of revelation.  While the proper term for most of what we call "haiku" today is "senryuu," which refers to poetry with the same structure as haiku but on random topics, no one would know what we were talking about if we called them that up-front...

With that said, a little explanation is due the reader.  This year's haiku obsession began innocently enough, with some messages left back-and-forth on Whopper's and Devo's dry-erase boards.  In the classic PFF tradition of taking things too far, this turned into a year-long haiku-writing binge that graced the world with an unprecedented amount of unnecessary poetry.  So, here now for your viewing pleasure, are some of the fruits of these labors:

(Written in order to be able to pick up jerseys)
Windmill:
My name is Windmill
I went and got the T Shirts
That's why you love me.

Scrum:
haiku a-choo? no
haiku I'm blue- no school! yea!
I'm orange! Le fin

Pants:
Walk by Majestic
Come and see really cool lights
In my cool window

Hi my name is Pants
I would like to get the chance
Again to swing dance

Sport:
i am so happy
no school, what a great surprise
but no disc, sadness

psych presentations
keep me from getting my shirt
running to funk house

Gump:
flipper picked mine up
so I don't have to write jack
muhahahaha

Toothpick:
My Mom is so hot,
Yes my mom is the hottest,
My Mom is so hot.

Muppet:
I cut off my hair
Now is time to grow it back
Chase orange plastic

Timex:
Hi, you all seem to
think that haikus are the height
of hilarity.

However, please keep
in mind, that haikus are quite
solemn and austere

One should never want
to overuse the haiku
it wouldn't be prudent.

So think before you
hit reply, "Is this just more
trash to irk Timex?"

Haikus can be fun
but just like drugs, say "nu-uh"
just like Mr. T.

This is what I leave
you with: have a superb day.
Sincerely, Timex